Let’s face it, all of us are either snobs or ones escaping them, only problem is that there is no way we could evade them. You run into them eventually, and certainly, by chance, default or by design. Tell them you are doing alright for yourself, and be subjected to a lengthy monologue on what you think life is not what life actually is. 

So, you tell them that you earn well, provide for your family, buy things on instalments, and pay them promptly, all through a 9 to 5 job that pays well, and hope that’s a reasonable thing to do. Well, what do you know? Oh you don’t know how to lead a life. You call this a life? The jeer you get is almost sympathetic about your existence. You got it right. They don’t even call yours a life. It’s an existence. 

Life is all about traveling around the world, living as the day comes, losing yourself entirely in your passion and other stuff that you have heard so often and still chose the way you live. But that doesn’t earn you brownies. Quit your job, go with them in journeys, eating stale food in third class railway compartments, drinking tea and chatting up with bored vendors, high fiving them affectionately when they seem to be the least concerned, miss all you calls from home, better throw your mobile from the moving train, and never respond to any concerns from anyone. Now that’s the way to live. You will have a lot of stories to tell. Who cares if you don’t like all the above? That’s not the point. The point is to live life with 2 capital L’s.

What you do with your spare time, and what your hobbies are, are things that are subjective. You can have as much happiness and enjoyment filling a Sudoku or making 8192 score in a game of 2048. Try telling that to one of those life livers, and you would wish you didn’t, because they tell you that is a lousy way to spend your time. That you have become a slave to the technology, smartphones and don’t know the real value of interaction with people. You are beyond redemption, they say. Their tch tchs irk you, but don’t continue or counter the argument. You can’t feed their greedy mouths and be bullied. It’s not as if they can make 8192 in that game, or fill a Sudoku. Challenge them to it, and watch them fly to Sri Lanka for a 6 day road-trip in that country and come back to you with more annoying stories. 

What do you mean, you like Pawan Kalyan? He is not even an actor. All his movies are random showreels of dancing in exotic locales, fighting goons, wasting copious amounts of glycerin all over the place. Nawazuddin Siddiqui. Now there is an actor. The way he portrays the Nothingness in the Postmodern Indian Psyche with a subtle frown or a nervous twitch, is a treat to watch, and moves me to tears whenever I see him. The what in what ? you ask. Oh poor thing. You don’t even know what art is about. You deserve a Pawan Kalyan movie, and I’ve got a better taste in movies and art. Thank You Very Much.

So, you say like IPL? What is it? Is it Cricket? Faf du Plessis and AB deVilliers grinding out final day against Australia at Adelaide is Cricket. This, the thing you watch for 3 hours every day after coming back from office is not sport. It is a commercial offering packaged to entertain fools like you. Cricket is the game of the elite. It’s ebbs and turns through each of the 5 days make it a spectacle, and this silly bikini clad cheerleaders dancing for boundaries and wickets is not even an International Match. You don’t have to live your life for this. Let’s write a book, or make a movie. That is the only way to live life, goddamn it. See how liberated I feel. You can feel the same. Come with me.

As you can see, there is no way you can avoid them. They are everywhere, your friends, family, someone you met online or a train, telling you how to live your life and enjoy doing it. Is there a way to counter any of their arguments with sense, reason or logic? Oh you wish!!!