I’m a skeptic when it comes to buying anything with loans, as I’m constantly afraid of being a defaulter should any unforeseen circumstances arise. I thought that the burden of paying back something that I didn’t have in the first place weighs me down and may mess up with my peace of mind. These were some of the reasons why I never listened to any logic, or encouraged any discussions about buying a house. 

Whenever people spoke about owning a house, I told them that I would buy when I have enough money and I would never take up a loan whatsoever. As a person who worked in the IT industry during the economic recession in 2009, I know a lot of stories that support my ideology, hence whenever I argued, I brought one of them up invariably, probably in an attempt to coax myself that I was doing the right thing all along. 

I don’t think I can point out to that exact moment or the day that brought a change into my thought process. . Ideally, I’d like to believe that I got confident enough to pay the loan back even if I lose my job, but I can’t delude myself and have to admit that a glimmer of concern still exists about it, but sometime in the last year I took the leap of faith and plunged into the curious world of home loans, and bought ourselves an apartment. Probably, it is how the industry has bounced back, emerging stronger and more successful than when it entered the recessopm phase, and taking me along with it in the journey, that made me feel confident and quite optimistic about the future.

I didn’t have any special feelings or emotions when I paid up the advance for the home. It was more of a relief from exhaustion after the 12 KM journey on my Honda Activa, and I’m too tired to mark the occasion with anything memorable. The long journey back also sapped some of my enthusiasm, and any way I didn’t physically have anything to show up for all the money I had shelled. It was a good two weeks later that I put my first step into the apartment. It was a huge one and for a while I can’t believe I bought it. Soon all my earlier skepticism returned, and I made a lot of mental calculations, multiplications and divisions, became all too hazy and I was confused and tired after the whole exercise. 

The apartment itself was relatively unfurnished, the tiles were just put on and everything else was left to my imagination, which I’m afraid was not too vibrant at that time. With a bit of help from google, and a lot more of it from my wife, we started putting in piece by piece into it. I don’t know how my mother felt like when we first had our own home, built absolutely from scratch under her supervision, but I felt no less, sitting in my bedroom and searching and short listing designs for false ceiling, interiors, and kitchen tiles, nursing headaches. 

These activities, at times, can be futile, frustrating and can eat up into your days and peace, but the pleasure when we zeroed in on something can only be felt. We are about a month away from moving in, and every time we go in now, I can’t stop smiling at myself and can’t wait to move in. I’m about as restless about moving in as I was when I waited for the joining date for my first job. 

Sometimes, it all seems like a dream, and I wish I could go back to be the skeptic that I was, but one look at my new home with people working on it, the smell of Fevicol and sawdust, the plywood, tiles and other paraphernalia makes me forget all about it. I feel really pleasant looking at it, and can’t help congratulating myself on a sensible decision in all probability. It fills me with a sense of calm and a lot of expectations, hope and excitement about my lifestyle in my new abode.

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This post is written for Lookup Stories (do check the website, their landing page is probably the most awesome design I saw) activity by Housing.com hosted by IndiBlogger Happy Hours Campaign