It was in 2005 that I took my first ever decision about how I should go about my life. Till then I was passing on, uncaring about the ignominy, too docile in my conformation, comfortably naïve about my prospects. I followed the path, already set for my by my brother and people all around me, scraping through classes 1-10 barely getting my neck up the academic excellence to get any special notice – never been a teacher’s pet -, slogging my backsides off at the Intermediate to get into a different beast called engineering. Once in engineering, I lost all the focus and zeal for any activity except watching movies and sleeping. So, when I came out 4 years later in April 2005, I had a degree to show for it, but nothing much or else.

The only thing I got from my 4 years, of considerable value that is, was the qualification score that I got in the GATE exam, but I felt it was an embarrassing score at that time. I got a job at a construction company in Hyderabad immediately after I left the college and I thought that it was a miracle, but soon the nature of the job, the physical activities involved, friends’ descriptions of the lack of basic facilities in their visits to the construction site, and the sad fact that the only day off was Sunday Afternoon, made me frustrated and sad. That was not how I wanted to be. I felt exhausted everyday and nothing to look forward to.

It was on one of those excruciatingly dull days that I got an invitation for counseling from MNNIT Allahabad. I almost forgot applying for that one, and it happened to be the only one I applied to. I mistook the letter to mean that I was given a seat in the college for PG, and went to my manager with my resignation letter. He told me that doing a Masters would be a waste of time and energy and said that it will never help me. I told I thought it will and gave him the letter. Only when I got onto my bike that evening, I realized the impact of my decision. Thankfully, I got paid for working over for a month and had no trouble in booking tickets with the money I earned, though I couldn’t find a reservation immediately.

I travelled in general compartment for close to 36 hours to reach Allahabad from Hyderabad. The journey was painful on my knees, and when I got down at Allahabad Station I was literally clueless as to how to find my way in the city. I didn’t know the language well enough, the counseling was scheduled two days later and I have to find a way to spend the next day. It was around 2 AM when I got a room to sleep at the station itself, when a kindhearted stationmaster spotted me and offered it.

I spent the next day in the same room, with nothing to do and nowhere to go. I didn’t have any friends and I don’t know anyone there. I was like a rabbit under the headlights looking for anything to hold on to. The day passed excruciatingly slow as I ate, slept, read and slept again into the night.

I attended the counseling next day, got a seat in Geotechnical Engineering, and interacted with a few guys there who promised to be in touch. I got back to Hyderabad the same day, and proceeded to my native place, spending 20 more days at home, before I boarded the train again to Allahabad.


Looking back after all these days, I think the day I took the decision to resign and study further changed my life forever, for good. Not that I learnt much academically, my mind was never in it, I used it just as an escape from the job. I made friends for life, learnt a lot about myself. It was like an entirely new life for me, and the start was almost could never have happened if not for the bold decision I took, which I’m thankful for.

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