Disclaimer: The allegations and observations made in this post are by someone who never won anything in his life, so you should know how seriously you should take these.

Having never won anything ever in any field that I participated, I’m continually tempted towards developing a pessimistic view about winning and hatred towards winners, but I always realize, eventually, that indifference works better. It works so well that I no longer care if I don’t win anything, though it does not make me less expectant towards results. I get down, disappointed and frustrated if I don’t win but I always feel that winning will not make me any happier either. I can’t say I will feel the same after winning since I haven’t, but I’m yet to experience the feeling of winning something, and I can safely assume that not winning anything won’t make me unhappy, not for a very long time at the least.

This is not to say that I have been denied of anything. In fact I would be the first one to acknowledge that I have never done anything worth winning. If I were a judge of anything I took part in, I would never chose me as a winner. There may be some times I would get close, but I never gave myself a rounded feeling of achievement in anything, so that must be the case with my judges as well. If I was unable to satisfy myself, I don’t stand a chance with others. This however does not make me any less hopeful of even my lamest attempts to win.

Even as a person I’m not really fascinated by winning or winners since I feel that there is nothing that can be learnt from them. Sure, reading about winning or the stories of the winners can inspire you but there isn’t much you can learn that you don’t already know. Every winning story, with a few tweaks, follows the same path of having a goal, dogged determination in achieving it, having the right kind of attitude, being at the right place and all, not to forget a bit of luck and if you win without all of these, you run a risk of being called a freak or just plain lucky, which in effect takes all the sheen off from the win. And the damn thing about winning is that everyone knows how to win (I mean how one should be and what one should do to win) but it is just too hard to do it. It’s not that I like doormats or losers, but I’m more fascinated by the eccentricities and behavioral quirks in people that lead to screw-ups. They lead to more intriguing observations on human nature than the monotonous perfection winning requires. With a few exceptions, winners do not possess these qualities or they overcome them for a greater goal thereby taking a bit of human angle out of their performances, and for the same reason I’m more interested in a Travis Bickle or a Macbeth than I am in a Jordan Belfort or a Gurukanth Desai.

I might be accused of sour grape syndrome here but that does not stop me from thinking that winning is often overrated. The fame, money and assorted hoopla the winners are bestowed with sometimes seem disproportionate, even tangential, often to their work and skill. If we were to put the achievements of the winners in perspective to that of the equally talented but obscure individuals with lesser fortunate ones, we would be left with a sense of bewilderment which might even lead to frustration, but if you get through all these stages, you would be left with the knowledge that ultimately all of it is so pointless. As a country, we are notorious in our ignorance and apathy towards anything that is not popular and we often have people cribbing that they were not recognized earlier or not recognized/rewarded at all. 

Another issue I have with winning is that it cannot always be compared or associated with being successful, which in turn might mean several different things to each individual concerned. If we were to measure the success or happiness of a person based on their winning, we find ourselves looking, invariably, at an incomplete picture, one that neither justifies the personality nor defines it.As a kid I had more than enough examples, either in the form of an exceptionally academic relative or that ubiquitously brilliant son of a neighbor, to look up to, and try to emulate, but I was constant in my denial of their appeal, or just plain bored by their achievements. This had led to much derision among my parents, but thankfully I have developed an air of dismissal about them. Though it was majorly due to my own inadequacies and incompetence, it can also be attributed to the fact that I never wanted to win in a big way and be one among them, when being myself was easier to attain and statistically plausible. 

As I write this I stand completely winless, and it is not something I lose my sleep and peace about. I accept it and move on, not with regret, but with a hope that some day, all of us will wake up in comprehension to the fact that it is not winning that matters, but living and leading a life despite, and blissfully oblivious, of it.

This post is written as an entry to WINNING for India Today Conclave 2014 hosted by IndiBlogger