I remember Jiah Khan as the free-spirited girl
audacious enough to flirt with a man four times her age just because he was of
her type in Ram Gopal Varma’s Nishabd. I have many a fond moments of the film
and the actress in particular but thanks to an innocuous “friend” on Facebook I
came to know of her suicide on 3 June 2013. About to shut down my laptop that
was the last thing I came across on that day and my immediate reaction was not
of shock or disappointment. I felt weak, too weak even to sleep. I lay on my
bed recalling that girl with long hair and lively eyes in Nishabd and wondering
in disbelief if that was only a façade people in showbiz invariably had to
adorn.
Though there is no right time to end a life,
Jiah could not have picked a time more wrong to commit the act than the times
we find ourselves now. At a time where success becomes the measure of a person
and identities are hard to find, can we afford to have a resolve, which is
vulnerable to depression arising from relationships that are more opportunistic
(hence confused) than idealistic? They say that the people whom we trust the
most hurt us the most, but is it prudent on our part to place our trust on
people who are becoming alarmingly cold and distant with time? There are no
easy answers but the thought that she could not summon the courage to battle on
or deem worthy a shoulder to take solace from anyone is as depressing in its
reality as frightening in its acuity. And the loss was not hers alone. With
her, a part of humanity’s verve has been damaged irreparably leaving fresh,
deep scars of insecurity and uncertainty on a generation that finds itself
increasingly embroiled in these issues and looking up to people they identify
with for direction.
Being a 25 year old is an exciting phase of
life where you can take risks and decisions’, explore opportunities, learn
lessons out of failures knowing that time is on your side and you can bounce
back being an experienced person to take the world head on in its game. Unfortunately Jiah will not grow any older or
wiser after this decision.
We can never know what has happened and what
was going on through her mind but much will be written, parallels will be drawn
and psychoanalyses will abound, all in a vague notion of identifying what went
wrong and what should have been done and in all probability they might end,
rather ironically, in making a movie out of her. What a waste.
Peace is a
good thing to have and it is the least and the best Jiah Khan can now have out
of what she has done to herself. I wish she achieved it at least. Rest in Peace
Jiah Khan. Whatever that means.
Very well written post Nara. I understand your anxiety and to a certain extent even your frustration about how detached we have become from one another. Whatever prompted Jiah Khan to end her life, it does put forth the draconian countenance of deteriorating human sensibilities.
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